I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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