we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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