Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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