I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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