Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize