There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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