lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
