she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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