I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
