she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
