Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
