I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize