there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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