You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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