and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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