K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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