You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
