There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
