Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
