Ketchup is God's man juice
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
