Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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