There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
