Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
