I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just gift wrapped bread.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
