i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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