hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
