This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
