me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Is it because I queefed?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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