And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
