so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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