Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just saw a hot homeless man
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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