oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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