After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
