Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
