Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
