I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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