Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
