your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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