My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
