I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
