belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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