Four minutes until I can fart!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
