we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
