I'm really into asian looking animals
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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