Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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