I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize