that's an acceptable place to lick
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
