New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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