he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
