And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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