My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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