if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
