Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
