that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
