If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
