I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
