Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
