who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I haven't been this sober since birth.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's shark week go big or go home
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize