I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
