You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
